Why not us?

4 Apr

I’ve finally joined a support group; A support group for infertility. I need reminders that other women and couples are going through the same thing that we are. 

 

This blog post was sent to me from a friend and I couldn’t put it in better words if I tried:

The decision to start blogging again was one of healing. This life and journey through infertility has brought me through the depths of pain and sadness. Now it hasn’t been all doom and gloom for us over the past five years. As one who is an eternal optimist through and through – if you know us – you probably haven’t noticed or realized what we’ve been dealing with. My optimism – a gift and strength of mine most of the time – has also been a mask, for the real-life yucky stuff going on in my head and my heart. For someone who clings to the positive in life, infertility has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Finding the positive in this life and journey can be really hard at times.

I crave laughter on a daily basis. Other than eating delicious food, laughing is one of my most favorite things to do. It really IS the perfect medicine. Jay and I have found ways to laugh at our situation. We have this running joke that my lady parts have guarded warriors that karate-chop his “men” away from the “gates”. Or, that his “men” (like most REAL men) forget what they are supposed to “do” or where they are supposed to “go”. When my friend and I were talking about this infertility support group, she mentioned that they were looking for a name. We must have come up with 100 different names and NONE of them were remotely serious or appropriate. My personal favorite…”Shooting Blanks”. You HAVE to laugh. You have to find reasons to get up and get on with life.

The infertility group was really great for me. Of course we had our share of good ugly cries, but then there was laughter. We laughed at the insane and inappropriate thoughts we had about pregnant women, the absolutely ridiculous things we would eat or drink to make us more fertile and most of all, the crazy things that people say to us. I told them I wanted to come up with a list of things to NOT say to someone dealing with infertility and I think this is the post for that list.

Disclaimer: Most of you have said one or all of these things below, but rest assured that I think I have said them too. We are human and it’s human-nature (and SO a female-thing) to try to fix people and problems. We want to help. We want to give hope. I know most of the things said below are heart-felt and with good intentions, but please…please take it from someone who has heard it all. There’s a fine line between being helpful & understanding and being hurtful in ways I hope I can explain:

What NOT to say to someone struggling with infertility:

Try to Stop Thinking About It and It’ll Happen
Think about a time in your life that you’ve wanted something so badly and you could do NOTHING to make it appear or happen. It is physically IMPOSSIBLE to stop thinking about wanting to have a baby…especially when EVERYONE around you is having a baby or has children. I mean dang, if Jay even mentions sushi (my favorite!), I obsessively cannot get it out of my mind until we go get some…and that’s just food. This is just NOT good advice and I would challenge you to try to take this advice for something in your life that you want and see how it works…because it doesn’t.

Maybe You Should Look Into Adoption and Then You’ll Get Pregnant
Everyone “knows” a couple this has happened to and most have kindly shared their stories of a “friend of a friend” with me, but the process of adoption is NOT one to take lightly or “pretend” like you want to go through it so that you can get pregnant. In fact, the rate for pregnancy after adoption is the same for those who do not adopt, it’s no higher. Infertility is not a mind game, you can’t trick your uterus into working by pretending you want to adopt.

Maybe God’s Not Ready for You to Have Kids or There’s Some Area of Your Life That Needs “Fixin” First
Just. stop. right. there. I got a “fixin” for you. Last time I checked, God doesn’t play games with our lives. He’s not sitting back, withholding our family while we cry it out to prove a point. Ugh.

Have You Tried ________.
Fill that blank in with every crazy wives tale, sexual advice, food or drink recommendation, standing on your head, etc. You can rest assured that if someone is dealing with infertility, they have tried EVERYTHING in the book (and there are SO many books) to try to make it happen for them. Just because you may have had a friend one time that ate or drank this and that and magically got pregnant doesn’t mean it’ll happen for me. Everyone is different and when you are struggling with infertility, you pay lots of money for doctors to tell you what you need to do (and in our case, none of THOSE suggestions have worked either)…but we have tried…we are trying.

Children are Exhausting, You’re So Lucky
If your kids are so bad, give them to me. Lucky is NOT the word I would use for one who longs every day for their very own son or daughter to annoy the shit out of them. No, you’re lucky that you don’t have to go through the medical prods and pokes, all the hormonal medicines and the super romantic scheduled sex times…all for it to fail time and time again.

You’re Still Young, You Have Plenty of Time
I’ve done the math. I’m turning 30 this year and Jay, 34. If we had a child TODAY, Jay would be early 40′s by the time that kiddo was in kindergarten. Not that 40 is that old, but we want a big family…like 5-6 kids. If we have yet to start, how old are we going to be when and if this family thing is ever a reality for us? We are super lucky to have our parents and even some grandparents around, but I would LOVE for our children to grow up knowing their grandparents and great-grandparents. There’s no guarantee on the time any of us have in this world, so how do you know we have plenty of time?

Some other things that have cooked my grits over the years…the surprise dramatic baby announcements, the ultrasound pictures on Facebook, other women telling me that our purpose in life is to be wives and mothers (really?! no other purpose?!), the “I can’t even stand beside my husband without getting pregnant”, etc. Hear me when I say that I know baby announcements and ultrasounds and posting thousands of photos of your adorable children are some of the most joyous times of your life…at the same time, they are some of the most painful for women (and men) that are dealing with infertility. I am so happy for you that you have those things to post and most posts make me smile. Beneath that smile, I’m also wincing with heartache. It’s not your fault and it’s not your job to filter everything for your infertile friends, but if you really love them, then take a moment to send an email or a phone call and let them know from time to time that you are sorry. Sorry that they have to deal with this. Sorry that you don’t have the right answers. Sorry that you can’t fix it.

So if you get anything from this post, I want to leave you with this…Tell your friends that you love them and that you hurt for them. The simplest “I’m sorry” goes a long way. Maybe even treat your friend to a cup of coffee or a girly drink with a little child-free conversation. Don’t stop inviting them to hang out or to the baby showers or birthday parties, but be sensitive and understanding if they decline. Don’t try to fix them. Just love on them. Hug them. Cry with them. Be a friend to them. Let them be.

~ Team M.


 

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2013- First post of the new year

11 Jan

I’ve really been neglecting my blog lately, but I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been given the luxury of sitting down to type some.

It was about this time last year that I was writing how I was going to be starting a photography business. I never knew how much work it was going to be owning your own business, but working with such fabulous people and doing something that I love so much has really paid off in the long run!

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In other exciting news….

Miss Ellie was born and is now 6 months old :)

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My gorgeous best friend is ENGAGED…FINALLY!!!

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My baby brother is a Senior!! Say whaaaa???

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In other news…we had a White Christmas!!

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We bought everyone stuff they wanted…even though I was out on Christmas Eve shopping :(

Ever year, I tell myself that that will change, but it doesn’t. I didn’t even put my tree up until the week before…and yes, it’s still up! ha!

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It was my year for the bigger items. I received a beautiful wood bookshelf, a therapeutic office chair (much-needed!), a keurig maker (what,what!), iPhone speakers, some odds and ends, but the best gift was my stocking stuffer from my parents: Dallas Summer Musical season pass tickets! Um, yeah! I’m going to go see Mary Poppins, Catch me if you can, Sister act and Lion King! I could’ve chosen to see Wicked (my all time favorite musical..EVER) but I chose to see Lion King since I haven’t seen it yet, and you can only choose one or the other. I get to take someone with me to every show. My parents will accompany me to both Lion King and Sister Act, but I don’t know who to take to see the others! I’m not going to torture my husband and make him go with me! ha! He went to Legally Blonde the musical..that’s good enough ;) I’m thinking about taking my brother to see Catch me if you can…a brother/sister date!

Paul has actually signed up for the military..he wants to be a seal, but is going for the marines first and will be a battles field corps man. It makes me really nervous that he is choosing to do this, just because I love him so much and his job will put him right on the front lines, but I know this is what he wants to do, and he is fighting for our country.  Don’t worry, he got rid of that dumb rat-tail thing hanging off the side of his head…ha!

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Let’s see, what else is going on…

Savvy and I have become best friends. I think we see each other every day! Just makes me wish that my other best friend lived closer! Image

I have FINALLY become more organized! I have a chore chart (hey- don’t hate) so it’s lovely seeing my house spotless every day! I don’t do photography stuff past 6:30 so I can have time just my hubby and I, and I have been eating more healthy and haven’t even drank a coke. That’s huge for me! ha!

Sooo I went to the doctor a few months back about fertility drugs. After almost 3 years of trying and nothing happening, needless to say it’s a bit frustrating. We are going to wait a little bit longer before trying the actual treatment, just because the odds of having multiples are VERY high and everyone I know who has tried it are having twins. As much as I would love having twins, I don’t feel old enough to take on that big of a chance lol As you can see, baby fever hasn’t left me yet. All in God’s timing though.

I’ll post again later, and try not to have the gap be 6 months between posts

ha!

Happy Friday!!

Emily

http://www.emilyfiscusphotography.com

#GotMyHurrDid

28 Jun

 

Life and Death

21 Jun

My dear friend Joey I mentioned last post passed away on Friday, April 27th. He went in for heart surgery to get a new pacemaker put in and ended up bleeding out on the table. When I  first heard the news, I was devastated. I’ve never lost anyone close to me and didn’t quite know how to handle myself. Chloie had spent the night with us, so I couldn’t stop holding her and wishing she could stay young forever to never have to go through the heartache of loosing someone special. I mourned for his family and friends and wished for that one last ‘Joey’ hug. Anyone who’s ever been given the pleasure of getting a hug from this guy knows what  I mean. They were so special in a way I can’t describe. Yes, there were many times my troubles just rolled off my shoulders because he would give me a hug and just listen.

When Saturday rolled around it really hit me, and I wasn’t doing too well. I think the worst part was that I didn’t go see him in the hospital (I’m a typical Asian driver, I can’t drive downtown without getting in a wreck sounds really lame now) and when I saw him just 2 days before his passing we laughed about the surgery because it was supposed to be a breeze. I felt guilty. I couldn’t even call my best friend and tell her about his passing who was just as close if not closer with him and his family. I texted her. Lame, right? I didn’t know what to say; I felt empty that someone could just be taken away from you so fast. I didn’t want to show weakness on his death was affecting me; I stayed locked up in the bathroom for hours just crying. I prayed for comfort and I got it. I felt the Lord just take everything off my shoulders and I swear I could hear Joey telling me to stop mourning his death because he was where he wanted to be. I love that I will get to see him someday and his death brought so many people closer to their families, friends and Christ. There is hope. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if you don’t believe in life after death. Not ever seeing anyone ever again after they pass?

Oh, Joey. I love you and can’t wait to see you again!

 

In other news…

My husband is amazing- ’nuff said! He works 12+ hours a day in this Texas heat so that I can do what I love- photography!

Things have still been doing really well! I’ve taken a break the last 2 weeks to enjoy time with my family while awaiting the birth of Miss Ellie! Being on call 24/7 is ‘tuff work! hehe

I’m photographing her birth and newborn session and can’t wait to hold her in my arms! She is going to be born into such a wonderful and loving family!

My brother Paul got Prom King 2012 AND graduated high school since I’ve written last! He’s all grown up! :/

My brother Ryan didn’t look so bad himself :)

My parents are away on vacation at the time, so my brothers are staying with us. Though they can take care of themselves, they still are 18 year old boys….ha! We had everything planned, but Ryan ended up getting mono, so he sleeps 15+ hours a day and I am playing nurse! I can’t tell you how many times I wash my hands a day because I refuse to get sick! I will hold Miss Ellie! haha

Ummm… we got a new car! I needed something bigger to hold two car seats and hold more props! Ryan wasn’t too sure on the Kia BUT we really like it and so far!

Here is a cute video of Chloie washing the old car and singing :)

I love being this little ones nanny! She is seriously so adorable! Do you think I take too many pictures from my phone if I hold up my camera and she instantly thinks I am taking a picture? hehe

What a doll! She’s getting soooo big!

On June 14th, Ive officially celebrated 2 years in America! Woop Woop! My parents bought me a sewing machine for a present which I will post pictures when it arrives! I’ve turned into quite the craftster! ha! I made this for a client for her child’s session. Adorable, right? And my model is too! hehe

Ooh, I am dying my hair Monday! Well, doing peek a boo highlights and getting it cut anyways. I have virgin hair but I am putting some deep red in- enough to stand out but still look professional for my business. So excited but soooo nervous at the same time! Right now I am trying to decide whether or not to do side swoop bangs or like bang bangs. ha! I’ll post pictures when I’m done! My hair has gotten so long !

Well, last but not least I will tell you that Ryan and I are going to be starting a new journey in our lives that is really hush hush right now, but I can’t wait to tell y’all all hopefully soon! It could be a few months or even a few years away, but I am so excited!

Two Wonderful Years!

19 Apr

At the end of March, my husband and I celebrated our two-year anniversary!

Time has flown by, but its nice to know I have my best friend by my side! I know it’s late, but a HUGE thank you to everyone who told us, ‘Happy Anniversary!”

We spent a 10 day vacation down south by the gulf! We stayed a few days at his Mom’s house visiting with them and they made us feel right at home!

Do you think we packed enough?

Ryan and I have the best time on road trips! ha!

When we first got there, we had a bonfire with all of the family :) It was fun!

The boys had their guns and I had a baby! We were all VERY content :)

I went outside to take some pictures of sweet baby, Ava! Is she not adorable?!

I learned so much more about Ryan’s childhood and was he not the cutest little kid?

Heres a picture of a crocodile the boys were trying to catch -_- This thing was fast for being so small!

Yeah, I had more fun taking pictures of the property :)

For our actual anniversary, Ryan took me to Kemah, Texas which was beautiful! We stayed right beside the coast at a little boutique inn. It had a full size kitchen and living room and everything! It was huge! We even had a jacuzzi on our private porch! Yeah, we had fun :)

We could be models :)

I have seriously never had more fun eating ice cream and walking along the boardwalk!! We were being so silly, it was great!

The picture below pretty much sums up how we both felt about going shopping all day!!!!

We were SO excited to eat Sushi for dinner…they were closed -_-

We had fun for the most part, but Ryan drove me INSANE one night -_- I am a planner like nobody’s business. Like I have 4 calendars all color coded …I want to know EVERYTHING. Well, sometimes it drives Ryan insane so he purposefully left out a few details on what we were going to do one night. He mentioned how we were going to go fishing. It was 5 o’ clock so I thought we would be out a while and  be back. What he failed to tell me was that we were doing an overnight fishing trip and mosquitos are attracted to the bay.

I was having all fun at first…

By the end of the night I could have hurt someone. I am so glad everyone left me alone! I had 100+ mosquito bites (in pants/jacket/hoodie) and I was seriously going out of my mind! You couldn’t see five feet in front of you they were so bad!

Attractive, right? -_-

Then, I got sick the rest of our vacay :/ Good thing we only had like 2 days left and then I would be in my own bed :)

It all worked out though and we had a wonderful vacation!!!

I came back to Chloie screaming bloody murder when she saw me :( Poor baby! As soon as her parents left though, she was fine!

Look how she fell asleep with her hands! aww!

She helped me wash my car :)

…and we did such a bad job we had to go through the car wash! haha

I got some soap in her eye while I was giving her a bath :(

Did y’all have a happy Easter Sunday?? We did!!

We dyed eggs and had dinner with my family Saturday night

And Sunday morning after church we went to his parents house and sat out on the deck eating yummy food and playing with the puppies!!

We had fun! Ooh, I bought a new prime lens!!! Heres the munchkin playing while I was talking to the salesman :)

Two pictures from my most recent sessions with my new lens! I’m in love!!!

We went on a play date and I took this pictures! It cracks me up EVERY TIME!! How cute is she?!

She’s getting into the doll stage:) Aw, I just want to hug the little munchkin!

So yeah, thats where we are now…

Nothing too new has been going on…

Oh, well we are getting a new car!

We took ours to get inspected yesterday and there is just so much work to be done on it, that now is a perfect time just to buy a new one! Plus, we have someone who will buy it as soon as I clean it out…which I should do in just a few minutes! ha!

 I want a mini SUV type thing! I don’t know, we will go looking and should have a new one the time the weekend is over :) We will see! I can’t wait!

Oh yeah…I am officially married to a bald man! He actually pulls it off quite nicely! I haven’t taken an ‘after’ picture yet, but here is one while he is shaving!

Take care, everyone!!!

Can I please sleep?

17 Mar

My photography business is doing wonderful! Things are actually going by a lot faster than I thought they would! If you haven’t yet, be sure to like my Facebook page, here. In the past week, I have had three inquiries about weddings, 3 photo sessions and 4 bookings! Not bad if I do say so myself! Here are a few pictures from my last two sessions! I love photographing happy moments!

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Joey is doing much better and looks as healthy as can be and EFP was able to donate a couple hundred to help pay medical bills! Woo hoo! It feels so good to give back!

Well, to catch you up from the last post, I have finished up through season 4 on Chuck and have already pre ordered the last season from Amazon! Can you say ‘nerd’ ?? It’s so good though!

My business cards came in!! Except I am having a hard time with my domain provider right now so my website is currently http://www.emilyfiscusphotography.smugmug.com.

Remember how I mentioned that Ryan would clean for a week? That didn’t happen. He was supposed to clean from Saturday to Saturday. Well, he asked me if he could do a big clean on Friday only, so I said yes, but he wasn’t allowed to get mad that the house wasn’t clean. Well, by Friday the house was a MESS  (laundry/dishes/everything else!). He had such a long day at work that I didn’t say anything, and then Saturday rolled by and I finally asked if he was going to clean. Do you want to know his reply? “Why, Saturday already went by?”….-_-

At least I didn’t have to clean that week AND I bartered a date night! ha! We ate out at BJ’s Brewery followed by a movie date to see ‘Act of Valor’! Great movie!

We got a new roof :) I found out as they started hammering… :/

I got a Sam’s Club membership and was SO tempted to buy this huge bucket of Sunflower seeds!! haha

Miss Chloie and I decided to eat some pizza for lunch while we there-do you think they gave her a big enough slice? LOL

I needed to get my glasses fixed so she put on a little show for everyone! How cute is she!?

Well, besides cleaning, doing photography and more cleaning there hasn’t been anything new- wait, I lied.

We have a mountain lion in our neighborhood and Ryan is trying to kill it so he can mount it. I’m fine with him killing it, but mounting it? Not too sure about that… lol

He just asked if I could see him! haha

Oh, I love my husband! Which, by the way we will be celebrating our two-year anniversary in a week! Say what?! Can’t wait!

Its always good when he keeps surprising me and not telling me that he left me a surprise until I walk into a public place! LOL

Take care, everyone! Happy St. Patty’s Day!

Still alive!

28 Feb

I went from blogging everyday to weekly and now monthly… I’m having a hard time finding the time and energy to blog it seems! I’m actually pretty sick to my stomach right now because I ate too much junk food. Why must hot Cheetos be so dang good? I’ve been having to munch on snacks the past few days because I’ve spent all my time editing photos. On the bright side, I’m getting a lot of business!

I photographed this little darlin’ this morning! How cute is she?!

A childhood friend of ours was rushed to the hospital last week after his heart stopped beating. He’s doing much better now, but to help raise money, Emily Fiscus Photography, has been doing a special. The final tallies aren’t done with yet, and I still have people wanting to take photos, but we’re going to be able to donate a big chunk of change :) I’m pretty excited! I’ve never done this kind of thing before, heck, I just started EFP a month ago so it makes me feel really good that I can help make a difference!

I’m learning all the ins and outs for photography and I can’t even begin to describe how much fun I’m having!

Man, I thought I would have a lot to post about but I can’t really think of anything so here are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head! ha!

  • I bought the first three seasons of ‘Chuck’ and just ordered the next one through amazon :)!
  • MY BUSINESS CARDS WILL BE HERE TOMM!!!
  • Chloie is as fun as ever! Heres our conversation the other day as Ryan is leaving from his lunch break: Emily “Chloie, tell Ryan ‘bye'” “Bye” “See you later” “Later” Love you””Love you” To Ryan” Bye hunny” Chloie looks at me “hunny?” “No, my hunny” “MY HUNNY! Where’d my hunny go?” Okay, so its cuter if you were there but now she calls Ryan her hunny! Its so cute!
  • Ryan bought his major item, so its my turn again :) I am in LOVE with this Nikon telephoto lens, BUT its worth 2x as much as my camera and I don’t really have a use for it now…sigh…I want it though :)

I get to photograph Michelle’s baby birth!!! SAY WHAT!!! I am so excited!!! They are having a little girl and she’s due in June!! I guess this will tell if I can stand the smell of the room, right? I posted this on Facebook:

I can’t tell you the number of times I got a Congratulations! ha! No, I’m not pregnant, I was just a little excited and wanted to do a birth…like….now! ha!

So Ryan went to Cabela’s and I gave him a spending limit and told him to call me if he would go over. He did and was going to spend $150 more than I told him. Okay, he does bring in the income so I was okay with that. When he came home he said he rang it up in his mind wrong and spent an additional $250 than what he TOLD me he would spend so he offered to clean the house for an entire week since he thought I would be  mad. I cut off his spending for a while, but he got to keep everything. Did I tell you how much I LOVE this whole not cleaning thing?

Does anyone want to come be our maid? Ha! Kidding…kinda :/

Its back to editing though so I’ll write later :)

I’m 21!

7 Feb

This past Sunday, I turned 21!!! Insane, right? It was a wonderful day and I have a feeling this is going to be the best year yet!

I received flowers, gift cards, money and AN IPHONE! Oh, hubby, thank you so much! With all the cash, I’m buying camera accessories and equipment! It’s quite exciting!

I started EFP 2 weeks ago and have already done 5 photo shoots! I have about 10 more booked! So excited!

Here is a picture from yesterday’s session! Is he not adorable??

I can already see how much I’ve grown in my editing skills and such! Thank you, Nicole, from Pickle Posh Photography, for being such a wonderful mentor! We had so much fun shooting Miss Kenley’s 2 year old shoot!

I’ve been so busy lately with sessions/editing/website making/watching Chloie that I’m excited to be sitting down right now and typing! haha

Chloie and I went to McDonald’s and met some nice people! We all exchanged information, so more play dates will be in our future! ha!

Next time though, I am going to make her eat her meal before she plays! She gave me the puppy dog look so I let her pass on her meal! lol

So Chloie is getting ‘ongry for chicken and ketchup’ so I’m just going to post some photos! ha!

So delicious but so unhealthy. Bittersweet :/

Afternoon walk!

Can’t wait for baby Max to get here! So excited! Off to feed the munchkin and do another photo shoot!

THOSE couples

23 Jan

Do you ever feel like your relationship with your spouse/ boyfriend is one of a kind? That if anyone else knew how dorky you acted around each other that they would make fun of you? I sure hope you said, yes! ha!

That’s my husband and I every night during H.A.W.T (don’t judge!) See, I just let you in on a little part of our dorkiness. HAWT is where we have husband and wifey time. No electronics just us. It’s my favorite part of the day because we get to talk about how our days went and whatever else is on our minds. For instance, last night, we had a pillow fight, tickling matches, laughed until we cried and fell asleep holding hands. It was the BEST way to end the night. **sigh** How did I get so lucky to marry my best friend?

The other day, Chloie and I went to Wal Mart and after they rang me up, I couldn’t find my card ANYWHERE. I was almost in tears and since Ryan was on his lunch break, I begged him to bring my card. Yeah, guess where I find it? In a zipped pocket. I forgot I asked my mom to check me out when I went to bed bath and beyond the other day while I put something back. Good thing what I bought was totally worth it!

Afterwards, I let her ride the mechanical horse and when the time ran out the look on her face almost made me want to cry, but I had no more cash on me. She totally has me wrapped around her little finger!

Anyways, when I came home I had a surprise waiting for me on the computer:

Greatness, right?

I’ve been watching Chloie more often and ohmygoodness, I just want to squeeze her! Look how darn cute she is! (Yes, we went out midday when shadows were horrible BUT I had to wear her out for nap time!) ha!

The other night, I watched her as well as her 3 precious cousins while the adults went out to dinner. We had so much fun running around, eating pizza and watching movies :) The little one, Victory, was so cute because she always wanted to cuddle since she was so scared <3

My days are pretty much same ‘ol, same ‘ol.

My husband smokes. Gross, right? We’ve tried doing all these incentives to stop, but since cigs contain nicotine, you can’t stop unless YOU are ready to stop. Anyways, we have struggled for 3 years getting him to stop and he would get so close but he would cave when he got really stressed or something. Well, you might remember me saying a while back that we agreed that when I got to a certain weight that he would stop smoking. Well, I haven’t quite hit that yet BUT he it’s been THREE weeks since he bought his last pack! Woo hoo! I had to bribe him with something big but he deserves it :)

Now, if only he would stop eating so much! Ryan is really picky about his food: No leftovers, no chicken, no dinners within 2 weeks of each other and those are just to name a few. Well, when I’m on the HCG diet, it’s really hard to cook a good dinner every night when I can’t eat anything. Yes, I did fail in that department -_- I am finishing it up though. This phase has been a complete waste. I have only lost 10 pounds since the beginning of the year (opposed to 25 my first round in a month). Now, have I been really trying? No. I haven’t had the willpower when I am making yummy food for Ryan! ha! Here comes to eating healthier, doing weights and losing it the old-fashioned way!

Do you see this? It is a oreo cheesecake thing from interest! SO STINKING GOOD! I made it 24 hours in advance (with the help of Chloie!) so they were always staring at me -_-

I also made this braided spaghetti garlic bread thing full of carbs and deliciousness!

Ryan and I watched, ‘The Event’ on Netflix and finished it in only a few days. Yes, we had a lazy weekend but it was the best :)

My 21st birthday is just around the corner and I have no idea what I want to do. I just want to order a drink on my birthday. Is that too hard to ask for? Well, apparently. First of all, my birthday is on a Sunday. Second of all, it’s on Superbowl Sunday. blah. I don’t want to go out and party because that’s not my crowd but I do want to do something celebrating turning 21! I’m thinking of doing a lunch thing after church at my favorite Mexican place. We’ll see! ha!

I’m starting up a photography thing on the side, so I have been working on websites/ Facebook pages/ legal stuff all together. Fun, right? Blah! ha! I can’t wait until I can actually take a ton of photos! My first session was for tomm but its supposed to rain -_- Bleck! Oh, well! I still can’t wait!! I’m pretty excited :) We will be doing a Valentines Day themed shoot! Plus, I think Michelle is going to let me photograph her baby’s birth (which we find out the sex Wednesday!). I can’t tell you how exciting this will be! They are doing an at home water birth!

I love you, daddy!

16 Jan

Last night I checked my email and found this from my daddy:

You probably saw this on FB, Emily, but I wanted to make sure you saw it. One of my great thrills of life is having you as a daughter, and as I read this it made me feel good that the majority of them I’ve done with you. Truthfully, I didn’t do all of them for you, I did them for me too because being your Father is one of my greatest joys.

Bonnie’s baby brought back all the emotion and thrill that I felt that first day we met. How grateful I am to God to be called your Daddy; it’s a word that holds more meaning to me than any other word. What a great gift you were, and are, to me.I love you, and you can always kiss me once, and kiss me twice, and kiss me once again….

Daddy

I saw this link a while back on pinterest and the first time I read it, I cried happy tears. When I read it again last night, I cried again. Not only because it was so sweet, but because he sent it specifically to me to make sure I saw it. Every “rule” just reminds me how lucky I am to have such an amazing father.
There is nothing stronger than a bond between a daughter and her father. I know that I can go to him for anything. Now, did I actually go to him all the time? No. I wish it would have because it would have made life a heck of a lot easier! ha!  There were times in my life that our relationship was so strained because of the choices I was making, but all he did was keep fighting for our relationship and loving me. I’m so glad he did, because I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have him. God has blessed me so much to be placed with such a wonderful family.
Thank you, daddy, for everything you do have done and always being there; For setting such a great example and loving us kids no matter what.
I love you.
“kiss me once, and kiss me twice, and kiss me once again….”