Adoption

23 Sep

I’ve started watching this t.v show, ‘Life Unexpected’, about a 16 year old girl who grew up in the foster system. When she decides she wants to become emancipated minor, she finds herself in a legal maze ending with meeting her birth parents. Long story short, she is put in her biological parents joint custody and as a family has to do with the trials that are thrown their way.

When I was four months old, my life changed forever. I was adopted into a wonderful American family and I wouldn’t change anything for the world, but sometimes I can’t help but think,’what if”.

What if I were never adopted and grew up in an orphanage or I grew up also finding my biological parents?? Um Weird.

  1. I would be living in Korea
  2. I would be living in Korea where everyone looked like me
  3. I would be living in Korea where everyone looked like me and ate with chopsticks all the time
Okay, so the last one may be a little stereotypical but still true at the same time.
When I was younger, I was made fun of so much in middle school that it led me to change schools; It’s not easy being the only Asian in a hill billy school district. I would come home and cry all the time wondering how my life could be so miserable. I had no one to go to. I didn’t have close friends I could confide in, and I couldn’t tell my parents either because I didn’t want them to regret their decision in adopting me or question their parenting skills. As time went on I would have to pretend life was perfect, but on the inside I kept dying more and more inside.  I sent a really depressing letter to my friend in Alabama complaining of life and she gave it to her mother who sent it to my parents. I hated her for doing that to me, for betraying my confidence, but when I look back at it now, I owe her so much. My parents sat me down and we had a long talk and then we went to counseling together. I know what you must think, because I thought the same thing: Counseling was for crazy people. Maybe I was crazy, but that point in my life turned everything around.
I was told to write a letter to my biological parents. Writing a letter I knew they would never get. When I first sat down nothing came to mind except anger and I couldn’t form any words. I must have sat there 2 hours just staring at the piece of paper now soaked in tears. When I finally formed words, everything was filled with rage and hate. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t want me or why they never loved me. The whole time I was praying for myself, just to help me finish this letter so I could get on with my life. God helped me a little more than that though. He helped me forgive them.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other. One you do not remember the other you call Mother.

Two different lives, shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star; the other became your sun.

One gave you a nationality; the other gave you a name. One gave you the seed of talent; the other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions; the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile; the other dried your tears.

One gave you up, it was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears.
The age-old questions through the years:
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of? Neither my child, neither; just two different kinds of love.

Anonymous

Do I want to ever meet them? It would be nice to know who they were, but my family here is my family and I couldn’t ask for anyone better.
God truly does have a plan and a purpose for everyone and although I may not know the big picture, I know I am one of the luckiest girls around. I was able to change myself from who I was and start living life to the fullest. Now, I’m married to my best friend, have the best family to support me, and friends who will never leave me.
I will always have a past, and look at that time as one of my darkest, but I also reached a point where I knew life was bigger than even I could imagine.
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26 Responses to “Adoption”

  1. Jennifer September 23, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

    I love you

  2. Topic Trends (@Topic_Trends) September 23, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

    Great topic today thanks I really enjoyed it very much.

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  3. Wendy September 24, 2011 at 11:26 pm #

    Wow! That is a really moving story. I’ve never thought about how hard it would be to be adopted. I always just think of how wonderful it is for the parents, and for the kid to have a new life. I’m so glad that you’ve come to the place where you are now;)

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