It’s been 24 days:
1. Of working out
2. Eating better
3. No sodas
and I feel AMAZING!
Thank you Advocare!
It’s been 24 days:
1. Of working out
2. Eating better
3. No sodas
and I feel AMAZING!
Thank you Advocare!
This past weekend, radio DJ, Kidd Kraddick passed away.
My emotions are haywire and I don’t know what to write….I’m mourning.
He was a man that I never met, but a friend that I always knew would be there every weekday morning from 6-10am. I laughed and cried with the whole KKITM team every day from middle school on up. I remember BEGGING my parents for the Kinsey CD they made for Christmas one year and when I opened it up, I put it on! I could still probably recite the whole thing to you! haha When I turned 18 and could finally drive, I wanted to go to visit the studio for my birthday. Ultimately , I didn’t go because it was about an hour away and I was SUPER directionally challenged & on top of my parents didn’t really approve of me missing school ha!
I feel like I knew, Kidd. His love for daughter, his love for music and electronics and most of all…his love for helping people. He did Kidd’s Kids every year where he took chronically ill children and their families on an all expenses paid trip to disneyland. They raised money all year, but mostly one day in October, they dedicate the whole show to raising funds. I remember one year specifically, they were really worried they wouldn’t hit their goal and by the end of the day, they ended up doubling it! It’s always one of my favorite days to listen to the show and I always look forward to going to Chick-fil-a and meeting a cast member and donating funds :)
My other FAVORITE time to listen is during December when they do Kissmas Wishes and Breaking and Entering Christmas where they help give a little extra cheer to families who may need it during the holiday season. Talk about crying your heart out. I’m always amazed at how everyone comes together during the holidays and they never disappoint! I’ve missed 1st period classes on several occasions and I’ve also been known to having to have to pull my car over I was tearing up so much on the way to school.
My thoughts and prayers go out to not only his friends and family, but also to all of his kiddnation family as well. You’ll be missed and mornings won’t be the same.
Keep looking up, Kidd, cause that’s where it truly all is <3
When I went to my last obgyn appointment, I was diagnosed with PCOS. Basically, my ovaries don’t work like they should. After a lot of research on it, I found out that weight issues were very common with this diagnosis and I used it as a crutch and making excuses for myself. I have stayed at my weight since the new year. I couldn’t lose weight, but I wasn’t gaining weight either so I was okay or so I kept telling myself.
The end of June/beginning of July for about 3 weeks, I was sick with a nasty virus- I was resting as much as I could an I lost my voice – I was just plain miserable. The worst part is, I gained 5 pounds. I wanted to just sit and cry and those who follow my blog know that I’ve always struggled with weight issues.
Being overweight has affected so much of me that I didn’t know: my marriage, work, friends etc. I felt guilty gaining weight after I got married, I never wanted to go anywhere nice because my clothes didn’t fit and I was in denial so I didn’t buy anything new :/
I would sit down and think that I didn’t want to do Christmas stuff this year because pictures are always horrible, or goto my 5 year reunion next year because I didn’t want to face people and have to feel like everyone was staring at me. I just had a super negative attitude towards life.
It’s seriously changing my life in ways I didn’t know it could! I’m on day 11 of the 24 day challenge, and I have so much more energy and I’m overall a happier person!
I’ve lost 7 lbs and 9.5 inches so far and I’m doing it the healthy way! I’m changing my outlook on everything- it’s not a diet but a new way of life! I’m eating healthier and exercising!
I have energy to do all my wifey chores and to go out with friends!
The best part about Advocare? I have an amazing support system! I’ve made new life long friends and I love how there are coaches that coach you through everything and who help you stay motivated!
I know I have a lot more to lose, but I’m excited for this journey and to learn exactly how much I’ve been missing out on!
I have about 45 more pounds that I would like to lose, but when I do lose that, I’ll be smaller than I was freshman year of highschool! Say whaaaaa?!?! Even so though, I’d still weigh more than Ryan seeing as how he weighs 120 -_-
I actually had motivation to spend time with my hubs and puppy last night! Woop woop! Super adorable!! <3
Sooo onto a new subject! haha
My best friends wedding took place at the end of June! I was sick and couldn’t talk on her wedding day, but she was BEAUTIFUL!
It was just an amazing weekend! Since the wedding was in Dallas and Katie, my neighbor, was also a bridesmaid, we rode together and were able to talk alot! It was super nice and the best part is, we got to talk about Joey. For those that don’t know, that’s her brother who passed away last year. Even though we didn’t hang out much as we got older, he was still one of my oldest friends. I cried and laughed and was able to just…miss and remember him.
The bachelorette party was a success! Katie wasn’t old enough and I had a session, so we didn’t goto Billybobs with everyone else, but we did goto the sleepover! It was super fun and I made new friends and Steph got lots of gifts ;) haha
Lots of lingerie…haha!
We had a super fun time!
Saturday was the wedding! We showed up at 9 for breakfast, yoga and worship music! It was a great way to start the day!
Then we took 4 hours for everyone to get ready!! HAHAHAHAHA
So for the actual wedding, like I said, I was sick as a dog. Coughing up a storm and the spotlights were a killer and then the added bonus of 5 inch stilettos on a step! haha I made it though! I had cough drops in my hand but when I went to reach for them…THEY DROPPED on the floor! I tried to cough inconspicuously haha
When we were walking back down the aisle, my shoe came off pretty much! I had like one toe in! SO I clutched onto Mark (my escort) who was hilarious by the way, and told him what happened and he was like “I’ll walk slower” ! haha What a doll!
Then Mercury, my escort for the bridal party entrance into the reception hall was an absolute hoot! We were talking about how they paired us up since that wasn’t how they paired us up for the actual ceremony and I noticed how they put the asian and the black guy together so he was making fun of that and I seriously could not stop cracking up laughing which makes it even funnier when you don’t have a voice! It was a long awkward walk so at the end when we split our separate ways, he was like “let’s get our swag on”. Goodness, maybe you had to be there but it was funny at the time! haha
So excited that my beautiful best friend is now married ;)
My baby brother is half way through bootcamp and I just got his first letter out to him :/ Whoops! Bad sister :/ So excited to see him soon! I miss him more than words could say! So proud of him!
More tornados have hit the area and if you’ve been watching the news lately, it’s filled with so much saddness. My heart goes out to all those who have lost so much. We were supposed to get another tornado that was supposed to be as bas as Moore, Ok- all I can say is Praise God that we didn’t. North DFW can not take much more between West, tornados, etc. We did get some pretty amazing clouds though!
I’m sitting here feeling so blessed to have a roof over our head and food in our stomachs, but I feel a little guilty at the same time. I was going to post a status on facebook about all the upcoming fun things going on right now, but I immediately erased it because everyone else isn’t as lucky, so I’m going to post on here whats been on my mind lately!
I am shooting a wedding every single weekend until the end of June! One which I will be second shooting with the beautiful, talented Stephanie Rose! Her work is stunning, and I’m glad to be able to accompany her to help capture someones special day! It will be fun!
At the end of June, I’ll be a bridesmaid in my beautiful best friends wedding :)! My dress came in today! It’s just a tad too big! HAHA! I’ll have it altered on Friday!
Then in the end of July, I’m surprising Ryan and taking him to OshKosh which is the biggest aviation event there is! We’re renting an RV and spending a week up there! It’s going to be SO MUCH FUN! Only an 18 hour drive! ha! I’ll keep y’all updated on that! Woohoo!
BTW- my brother took his beautiful girlfriend to her senior prom! What cuties!
Fun fact: After watching the movie twister when I was in middle school, I wanted to be a storm chaser. I remember going home and telling my mom that and her response, “Well, you live in the right area! We’re in Tornado Alley”. Um, hello! There’s a big difference between fantasizing about it to knowing its a reality.
We had a mile wide Tornado come through Cleburne (15 minutes away from us) a couple of days ago.
It was pretty scary. We had the news on watching the whole time but didn’t take cover. Maybe that was a bad choice on our part, but we all just cuddled in bed.
I’m keeping everyone in my prayers because so many friends around the area are now homeless and still without electricity :( It’s sad, but it’s wonderful to see the community come together to help each other out in times of need!
Ryan makes me so happy! Just thought y’all should know!
He’s going to hate me for posting some of these pictures, but you should know what’s going on around our household! ha!
He shaved…but missed a big ‘ol spot! He didn’t want to redo it, until I showed him JUST how big of a spot he missed :)
He’s been sick with a yucky cough the past 2 weeks, and I’ve been making him put some vicks on his chest and under his nose. He says it burns him AND he doesn’t want the smell to be so strong so he puts it on his chin hair! LMBO!
He’s starting to feel a little better! Thank God! Last night was the first night he slept straight through, thanks to our friend melatonin! Too bad I barely had any room to sleep :(
So we made our 5 year plan!
I know plans don’t always go like you want BUT we have an outline! ha!
In 2 years we’d like to have a lot of land
In 3 years we’d like to have a house built that we love
In 4 years we’d like to start the adoption process since I’ll finally be old enough!
So in 5 years, hopefully we’ll have a new house, baby, and successful businesses!
Now, I should see where I am in 5 years….I’ll probably look back and laugh at this! ha!
Today I got to watch Miss Chloie and Ellie again! They are so sweet!
I know this was a super random post, but I hope you enjoyed!! <3
You heard me, I am blind as a bat :(
I last had my eyes checked right before I was dropped from my parents insurance when Ryan and I first got married 3 years ago. I haven’t been since because my glasses “made do” and I didn’t have an extra $500 laying around that I wanted to spend on a doctors appointment ha!
Fast forward until Monday and I finally got in! The doctor was examining me and asked if I sat in front of the computer a lot. I mentioned I was a photographer, so I spend upwards to 15 hours a day just sitting and editing :/ Well, it just so happens that he wants portraits done for his daughter and himself, so he asked if I was interested in a barter- um, heck yes I was! ha!
So I walked out not spending a dime AND I’ll be able to see in 2 weeks when they arrive! ha! Plus, I sold a digital package at a client meeting and made some more moolah!
Ryan didn’t get home until well past midnight from work though, so the day turned out to be pretty lonely. I’m glad that he is super busy AND he got put back on hourly for summer (woohoo!) but I miss him always being home :( At least I have Sampson to keep me company :)
Tuesday, I had a meeting with a beautiful client and her mother who booked me for their wedding in March of 2014. I sold them my signature collection and they’re a beautiful couple, so I’m pretty darned excited! They’re my 3rd couple who’s booked for 2014! Not too shabby seeing as how I just started last year! haha I still cringe at looking at photos from then :(
Yesterday Ryan was able to come home early (7, but still that’s better than midnight!) and we had my family over for some homemade potato soup and bread!
I hope Ryan gets home early tonight. He’s been working so hard lately, and he’s been sick with a 101 fever :( I’m going to make some steak fajitas for dinner and we’re going to rest and watch Lost! I don’t know how we’ve never seen this before, but it’s a totally addicting show! ha!
On a side note I did my first go at pigtail french braids to sleep in…this is what I woke up to ha!
Soon, I will be doing a trial run for something that could be super big for Emily Fiscus Photography. I won’t be making any announcements about it, unless I decide to go through with it. It’d be a 3 month trial run and then an evaluation between my husband and I, so we’ll see! I’m not too sure what to expect, but I’m excited!! <3
So a few days ago when I posted, I was an emotional wreck. A baby fever spell hit me so bad, but I am glad to say that it has completely gone away!! Well, for right now anyways! ha!
I’ve been so busy lately with photography, that I haven’t been able to watch these 2 little ones for a while :( When I saw that Michelle needed a babysitter for the weekend, I immediately jumped on it. I needed to see my little Chloie bugs and miss ellie!
They came over Friday and we had a lot of fun going to the park and playing games. Ellie had some diarrehea, but she was also teething, so no one thought anything of it.
Chloe slept through the night, and I only had to wake up 2x for Ellie! It was pretty peaceful, but I was realizing that I could wait a little while longer to have kids. Revolving plans around someone other than my husband and not getting a full night of sleep isn’t what I’m used to! ha! Now, I know that all comes with motherhood, but it was just a nice reminder telling me that I can hold off a while.
I’m only 22. I guess it’s just the fact that I’ve been married for 3 years and nothing. My highschool friend who’s wedding I actually shot just announced she’s pregnant. While I’m happy for her, I was devastated and didn’t understand why they were able to conceive before us. I just have to remember that it will happen when it will happen.
After this weekend though, my husband said he’s going to start wearing condoms again! ha!
It was very VERY fun -_-
Remember how I said Ellie was teething and that’s what caused her diarrhea. Turns out, she was really sick :( Lots of screaming, pooping and spitting up :( Poor baby!
We had to run an errand and Chloie fell asleep in the car. We get home and I try to move her to the bed inside and not wake her up; I failed miserably. She starts screaming bloody murder so I tell her to go to her room. When she’s done throwing a fit, she can come out. Then I start changing Ellie and all the sudden I hear Chloie say “I threw up, I threw up”. Sure enough, she did. It was EVERYWHERE! All in the bed, in her hair & on her clothes. I finish dealing with Ellie and put her in her crib which only makes her cry louder and rush Chloie to the shower. Let me tell you, running my fingers threw her hair to get the chunks out was not how I thought I would be spending my Friday Saturday night. After about 5 rounds of puking, I finally had her lying down watching a movie and rush back to Ellie when Chloie lets me know she’s pooped in her pants…lovely.
So yes it was a great night. Michelle came and got them a little earlier than planned. I feel bad that she had to leave early :/
Well, fast forward to yesterday morning at 5am.
Ryan wakes up puking his guts up, and he’s a violent puker. I could tell his tummy was going to be hurting. We couldn’t get out of bed all day yesterday. Good thing it was only a 24 hour bug and we are feeling 100% better! I can still smell the acidic puke from Chloie though. Gag.
So it was a joyous weekend! ha!
At least we had Sampson who cuddled with us :)!
…or hog my side of the bed…
I’ve finally joined a support group; A support group for infertility. I need reminders that other women and couples are going through the same thing that we are.
This blog post was sent to me from a friend and I couldn’t put it in better words if I tried:
The decision to start blogging again was one of healing. This life and journey through infertility has brought me through the depths of pain and sadness. Now it hasn’t been all doom and gloom for us over the past five years. As one who is an eternal optimist through and through – if you know us – you probably haven’t noticed or realized what we’ve been dealing with. My optimism – a gift and strength of mine most of the time – has also been a mask, for the real-life yucky stuff going on in my head and my heart. For someone who clings to the positive in life, infertility has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Finding the positive in this life and journey can be really hard at times.
I crave laughter on a daily basis. Other than eating delicious food, laughing is one of my most favorite things to do. It really IS the perfect medicine. Jay and I have found ways to laugh at our situation. We have this running joke that my lady parts have guarded warriors that karate-chop his “men” away from the “gates”. Or, that his “men” (like most REAL men) forget what they are supposed to “do” or where they are supposed to “go”. When my friend and I were talking about this infertility support group, she mentioned that they were looking for a name. We must have come up with 100 different names and NONE of them were remotely serious or appropriate. My personal favorite…”Shooting Blanks”. You HAVE to laugh. You have to find reasons to get up and get on with life.
The infertility group was really great for me. Of course we had our share of good ugly cries, but then there was laughter. We laughed at the insane and inappropriate thoughts we had about pregnant women, the absolutely ridiculous things we would eat or drink to make us more fertile and most of all, the crazy things that people say to us. I told them I wanted to come up with a list of things to NOT say to someone dealing with infertility and I think this is the post for that list.
Disclaimer: Most of you have said one or all of these things below, but rest assured that I think I have said them too. We are human and it’s human-nature (and SO a female-thing) to try to fix people and problems. We want to help. We want to give hope. I know most of the things said below are heart-felt and with good intentions, but please…please take it from someone who has heard it all. There’s a fine line between being helpful & understanding and being hurtful in ways I hope I can explain:
Try to Stop Thinking About It and It’ll Happen
Think about a time in your life that you’ve wanted something so badly and you could do NOTHING to make it appear or happen. It is physically IMPOSSIBLE to stop thinking about wanting to have a baby…especially when EVERYONE around you is having a baby or has children. I mean dang, if Jay even mentions sushi (my favorite!), I obsessively cannot get it out of my mind until we go get some…and that’s just food. This is just NOT good advice and I would challenge you to try to take this advice for something in your life that you want and see how it works…because it doesn’t.
Maybe You Should Look Into Adoption and Then You’ll Get Pregnant
Everyone “knows” a couple this has happened to and most have kindly shared their stories of a “friend of a friend” with me, but the process of adoption is NOT one to take lightly or “pretend” like you want to go through it so that you can get pregnant. In fact, the rate for pregnancy after adoption is the same for those who do not adopt, it’s no higher. Infertility is not a mind game, you can’t trick your uterus into working by pretending you want to adopt.
Maybe God’s Not Ready for You to Have Kids or There’s Some Area of Your Life That Needs “Fixin” First
Just. stop. right. there. I got a “fixin” for you. Last time I checked, God doesn’t play games with our lives. He’s not sitting back, withholding our family while we cry it out to prove a point. Ugh.
Have You Tried ________.
Fill that blank in with every crazy wives tale, sexual advice, food or drink recommendation, standing on your head, etc. You can rest assured that if someone is dealing with infertility, they have tried EVERYTHING in the book (and there are SO many books) to try to make it happen for them. Just because you may have had a friend one time that ate or drank this and that and magically got pregnant doesn’t mean it’ll happen for me. Everyone is different and when you are struggling with infertility, you pay lots of money for doctors to tell you what you need to do (and in our case, none of THOSE suggestions have worked either)…but we have tried…we are trying.
Children are Exhausting, You’re So Lucky
If your kids are so bad, give them to me. Lucky is NOT the word I would use for one who longs every day for their very own son or daughter to annoy the shit out of them. No, you’re lucky that you don’t have to go through the medical prods and pokes, all the hormonal medicines and the super romantic scheduled sex times…all for it to fail time and time again.
You’re Still Young, You Have Plenty of Time
I’ve done the math. I’m turning 30 this year and Jay, 34. If we had a child TODAY, Jay would be early 40′s by the time that kiddo was in kindergarten. Not that 40 is that old, but we want a big family…like 5-6 kids. If we have yet to start, how old are we going to be when and if this family thing is ever a reality for us? We are super lucky to have our parents and even some grandparents around, but I would LOVE for our children to grow up knowing their grandparents and great-grandparents. There’s no guarantee on the time any of us have in this world, so how do you know we have plenty of time?
Some other things that have cooked my grits over the years…the surprise dramatic baby announcements, the ultrasound pictures on Facebook, other women telling me that our purpose in life is to be wives and mothers (really?! no other purpose?!), the “I can’t even stand beside my husband without getting pregnant”, etc. Hear me when I say that I know baby announcements and ultrasounds and posting thousands of photos of your adorable children are some of the most joyous times of your life…at the same time, they are some of the most painful for women (and men) that are dealing with infertility. I am so happy for you that you have those things to post and most posts make me smile. Beneath that smile, I’m also wincing with heartache. It’s not your fault and it’s not your job to filter everything for your infertile friends, but if you really love them, then take a moment to send an email or a phone call and let them know from time to time that you are sorry. Sorry that they have to deal with this. Sorry that you don’t have the right answers. Sorry that you can’t fix it.
So if you get anything from this post, I want to leave you with this…Tell your friends that you love them and that you hurt for them. The simplest “I’m sorry” goes a long way. Maybe even treat your friend to a cup of coffee or a girly drink with a little child-free conversation. Don’t stop inviting them to hang out or to the baby showers or birthday parties, but be sensitive and understanding if they decline. Don’t try to fix them. Just love on them. Hug them. Cry with them. Be a friend to them. Let them be.
~ Team M.